It's been one of those days. It began with a wayward mist of Argan oil to the eye and an accidental melee with a container of applesauce (the applesauce won). Progressively worsening, Monday afternoon threw a wrench in the most basic of female mall trips, a trip to the VS semi annual sale. I don't expect much from Victoria except a random mishmash of neon bedazzled bras in a cardboard bin. Next to a bunch of unruly broads who act like they've never seen a Demi Cup before.
This trip was no exception. One (excessively sequined) little number later, I was fully prepared to wait an unreasonable amount of time on line while distracting my toddler with copious amounts of potato straws and Nick Jr clips ( thank you iPhone!). I was not, however, expecting the cashier to fully abandon register and rush over to assist the disheveled mess (wearing BEBE sunglasses) who just happened to cut like 15 people on line. Breathe. My psyche steps in. No, don't breathe! Give her the side eye. Say something random out loud about the line, oh, i don't know; existing or something. Too late. Employee of the month hands her a shopping bag and returns to finish my transaction. My two year old is now screaming and lunging forward like a mini Houdini trying to escape his
In an attempt to avert full toddler meltdown, I make a run for the exit when BEBEface runs right into my City Mini. "No, you go!", I exasperate. "Saaaaahry", she says and then it hits me. I've heard that shrieky Italian voice before. It's none other than table flipper extraordinaire, Teresa Guidice from The Real Housewives of New Jersey. You've. got. to. be. kidding. me. However, this is a mall in North Jersey. What else did I expect?
Barely recognizable, in unfortunate sweatpants and a very messy low ponytail, I almost feel sorry for her. Particularly when I think about the fact that she's likely picking up a leopard thong for Juicy Joe.
And suddenly, my Monday doesn't seem so bad.
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